"Come on! Drink that Cosmo.I'll get you another. Loosen up and have some fun."I felt extremely uncomfortable. My mind was full of random thoughts andconcerns. Why didn't Grace seem to recall telling me to arrive longafter the party actually began? Why invite me at all? The only male atan all girl party? What did she want from me? Was I special to her?Was she as enthralled with me as I was with her? Somehow, I didn't thinkso. I could not get past the nagging doubt that I even belonged in thesame room with a woman as incredible as Grace. I wasn't being overlyhumble about myself. I simply wasn't that special. Grace could have anyman she wanted. So why was she giving me the time of day? Why couldn'tI just accept that she seemed interested in me, and go with it? My mindspun with a lot of questions - but no answers.I downed my Cosmo and had another. I downed that one quickly as well.Damn! The redhead tending bar mixed one hellacious martini! Lookingback, the third one. There was something about them, butI never put a finger on it until a few years ago. Anyway, most of thegirls took me for a pervert; and I pretty much thought of myself as one atthe time. I finally finished high school and was off to college and morethan ready to start living a real life.It was during my second semester of my freshman year that I met Jessica.We sat next to each other in World History 101 and we started talking.Jessica is not a beauty queen by any standards, but she is not uglyeither. We became friends. Well at least I only wanted to be friends.Jessica wanted it to be more; and I gave in after a few weeks. I didn'twant to lose her as a friend so I went along with the relationship. Aftera few months of dating, I actually thought I might have feelings for her. I still had that feeling in the back of my head that this wasn't what Iwanted, but I instinctively brushed those thoughts away. Every guy wanteda girl, didn't they? I just wanted to be normal, so I.
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